Four's Company
by GrandMastaLAMizaryfizzle
Summary: Join us in a highly amusing look into the lives of four Slytherins. Outrageously AU, with abnormal 'ships and some slashiness. Sense of humor required. Review?


**Four's Company  
Summary: **Join us in a highly amusing look into the lives of four Slytherins. Outrageously AU, with abnormal ships and some slashiness. Sense of humor required for reading.**  
  
**Though we really dont recommend anyone actually read it.**  
  
Setting:** Completely AU. Draco, Hermione, and Harry are all around 18, and Tom is 20 something.  
**  
GrandMastaLA:** Mizaryfizzle is making me write a note.  
  
**Mizaryfizzle:** lol, so I'll be forced to write the whole thing. So here it is. Our first attempt at a fic together, and my first attempt at a completely humor filled fic (with some rather cute bits of romance on the side. I'm assuming here, as it hasn't been written yet. but there will be romance of some sort!). But anywho, here goes. Enjoy! and if you do, be kind and review. :)  
  
*******  
Chapter One - The Replacement  
*******  
  
Severus Snape was a model of certainty. He exuded confidence (perhaps too much), never letting anyone question his motives, and never questioning them himself.  
  
But now... he was felt all the emotions of a skittish lamb in a room full of wolves. Lions, even. Fear, nervousness, and the absolute awareness that he would most likely not make it out of this situation alive...  
  
You'll be sleeping in here.  
  
The voice cut through Severus' dreary thoughts, and he let out a weary sigh.  
  
Thank you, Argus.  
  
A foul smile played on the edge's of Filch's mouth. I should be thanking you. Miss Norris and I, he gestured to a pile of fur at his feet, will be more than grateful to be leaving.  
  
The bundle of fear that had appeared at his first look at his new lodgings grew even more with Filch's words. And why is that? Snape questioned, trying his hardest to keep the desperation out of his voice.  
  
Filch gave up on hiding the smirk. I wouldn't want to ruin the surprise, sir.  
  
The man picked up a bag on the floor and hurried to the door, with Miss Norris following behind him. With a final look that almost resembled pity, he let the smile fade.  
  
Good luck.  
  
With that remark, the Filch and cat fled the apartment.  
  
When the door clicked shut, Snape was able to really get a feel for his new surroundings. His first impression hadn't changed. And that impression was one of disgust.  
  
He stood in the living room. Two pairs of muddy shoes were by the front door, underneath a table that was home to a lamp and one set of keys. On the graying carpet stood several mismatching pieces of furniture: a worn blue couch, a high-backed, old fashioned chair, and a comfortable old leather recliner surrounded a large television set. A coffee table stood in the middle of the room, and magazines and papers were strewn about it's surface. Magazines and papers with titles like The Daily Prophet, Witch Weekly, and The Eric Estrada Monthly Fanzine. Snape was puzzled at the last title, but he chose to ignore it, focusing instead on the rest of the apartment.  
  
A small, unremarkable kitchen stood off the living room. A quick study of the cabinets revealed nothing in the way of food. Snape furrowed his brow. The refrigerator wasn't much better. Beer, a bottle of ketchup, and some molding cheese were it's only contents.  
  
Sighing, Snape slammed the refrigerator door shut and stalked to his new room. Four doors stood closed in the hallway as he strode to the only open one. One door housed a bath. The other doors... belonged to his new....  
  
He couldn't even think it.  
  
Gritting his teeth, he was struck with an incredible urge to break something.  
  
Roommates. Severus Snape had roommates.  
  
Not only that, but they were the worst roommates he could have imagined.  
  
Well, not the worst. A wry half smile appeared on his face. He could have been rooming with Harry Potter, Sirius Black, Voldemort, or the entire Weasly Clan.  
  
But his current situation wasn't much better.  
  
A few short months prior, Voldemort had been defeated in a rather unspectacular way. The once feared Prince of Darkness had reverted back to his twenty something self, appearances and all. The self he was before he became, well, really evil.  
  
His other two roommates were none other than Lucius and Draco Malfoy. After Voldemort's fall, Lucius had lost his job, lost his wife, and lost all his fortune (which had been badly invested in the illegal flying carpet industry). Homeless, both father and son had appealed to Dumbledore for help. Dumbledore, being the benevolent man that he was, took in Lucius and Draco on the condition that they attended Evil Doers Anonymous with Riddle and several other former death eaters.  
  
When all three had shown signs of improvement, Dumbledore had moved them into the apartment Snape currently had the pleasure of standing in. Several of Hogwarts' professors had taken turns at living with the reformed trio, but all had made excuses to leave after a short period of time.  
  
And now it was Snape's turn.  
  
His predecessor, Filch, had taken surprisingly good care of the place, with the glaring exception of the food. But he could easily conjure something...  
  
Quickly remembering the fact that he was unable to do magic (since the others were trying to quit), he cursed loudly. Mere seconds later, Tom Riddle's dark haired head poked out of his room. When Snape spared a glance, the younger man quickly closed the door again.  
  
Argus? Argus! Where's dinner?  
  
The shout from Lucius' unmistakable voice, and the murmurs from another voice responding, confirmed that his other roommates were home.  
  
Repressing the urge to throw himself out the window, Snape sighed for what could have been the millionth time that day. After all, he doubted falling from just the second story would kill him.  
  
He could do this. Steeling his nerves, Severus Snape left the relative safety of his small bedroom to face his doom.  
  
******  
  
Review?


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